What I have learned from being homeless.

This is a blog created to help me get away from homelessness. I am trying to raise funds. If you can help there is paypal link in the right nav bar.
Days now, without running water, 37.
What I have learned from being homeless.

I know that I have been on this journey for a reason. I know there was something I needed to learn, and I hope I have learned it. I have learned that kindness it the most important and valuable thing in the world, and it doesn’t cost a thing. Kindness has become my religion.

I have learned it is not what happens to you that matters, as much as how you react to it.  Caring for my paralyzed mother didn’t cause my depression. My reaction to caring for my paralyzed mother caused my depression.

I have learned the difference between need and want, and that I need very few possessions, really, to get by. Unlike my previous life, and most “regular” people, I use 100% of my few things 100% of the time. I don’t HAVE things I don’t use.

I have learned that things that look scary are not always so. The same goes for things that look nice.

I have learned, you don’t TRULY need anything you can’t carry, and you will risk much to protect those things.

I have learned to keep moving forward because you really can’t go home again.

I have also learned that the people that will hurt you the most, never meant to hurt you at all, and those people are totally clueless that they have just dealt you a devastating emotional blow. Those people, think they know everything, and they don’t know anything.

When you finally understand that you don’t know, what you don’t know, only then can you be truly understanding and compassionate.

I have learned that if you don’t have TV, which I don’t, and your don’t have internet access, someone has to tell you about the Boston Marathon bombing. Subsequently I learned that I don’t miss the 24 hour news cycle.

I have learned that you cannot gauge nor judge my emotional pain or the depth of my depression any more than I can judge yours, and one’s compassion and empathy towards everyone should reflect that. You can’t accurately describe to me what it is like to give birth any more than I can accurately convey to you the gut-wrenching sadness of feeling disposable. The feeling that, if no one truly cares that I AM here, does it really matter if I stay here, and will it even have mattered that I WAS here.

I believe I am valuable and worth saving. But no man is an island and I have learned that I cannot get out of this alone.  I hope you can help, just a bit. Could you please?

Thanks and blessings – Kathleen


10 people, times $25, equals ‘can you help‘?

I started a crowd funding campaign to see if I could get help online to prevent me and my dogs from becoming homeless . . . again.  Right now I am hovering on the edge of it.

I have come far, but truly need help to go further.

I know if I could get 100 people to contribute $25 it would make a significant change in my life.  In return I want to send each person a small gift with a number on it in the order that the contributions are received, hence the “count”.  So far, I not been able to entice even one person to help me 😦

My story is not GRIPPING enough. To know more about me read the campaign text. I didn’t save a baby from a burning building, or return a found bag of money (though I would!). I am just a nice person who really needs help. Nothing extraordinary about me.

I currently have a ‘roof’. I stay in a vacant apartment, in disrepair, that is up for short sale, but I still have to pay utilities. My power bill is due in 4 days and is $119. My water has already been turned off because I couldn’t pay it, its been off since September 5th. To have it turned back on will cost $131 and I truly need a shower :D.

My hope is to find 10 people who could contribute right now, so that I can cover those two things.

If you can help there is a link in the right nav bar to the campaign, AND another link to a make a contribution directly using paypal. (Use any debit or credit card, safely. Only paypal sees your info.)

Blessings . . . and thanks for listening.

My fundraising campaign – by the numbers.

I am not sure if even ONE person will be willing to help me get back on my feet, let alone 100. But if I can get ANY people to help, here is what I need right now and how many people it would take.

The electric bill is due by September 30th. Its $145
Electric bill . . . . . . . 6 people

The water has been off since the 6th. Its $131. Thats for two months.
Water bill . . . . . . . 6 people

I need to fill a prescription $20
Meds . . . . . . . 1 person

You can sponsor an animal in a shelter or a child in a third world country. Why NOT sponsor an adult in need. Why not my life?
Campaign link. http://igg.me/at/kind

I haven’t been able to figure this out.

I haven’t been able to figure this out. And its not from lack of trying. I want to be able to help people, and I can’t even help myself, but for short periods of time. I don’t want to be homeless again. I don’t want to live without water. I don’t want to live without power. But, NO income is NO income. I feel so STUCK. It’s been almost six years since my mother died and I thought THEN, that I would just ’go back to my life’. My depression and the economy didn’t allow that. The depression is much better, though I will never be the same person I was before my mom’s stroke. Am I broken?  A bit, but we all are to some degree. Broken doesn’t mean useless. It does mean changed. Different. You find a way to work around it. We get older and need reading glasses. A person who can’t walk uses a wheelchair. It’s all a work-around. The depression work-around is less visible. I stay home more. Shelter myself emotionally. Take fewer risks. See more everyday things as risks. Sometimes I hide because it feels safer. Sometimes people are mean.

I am smart and resourceful. Why can’t I figure out how to get back on my feet? I am surprised. Baffled. I am unaccustomed to problems I can’t figure out. And figure out fairly quickly. You get to a point when you think, “If I haven’t figured out how to fix this by now, am I EVER going to be able to figure it out?” It’s called ‘losing hope’ and I hate it.

I truly need help.
– Kathleen

My quest. A return to the world for me and my dogs (pics)

This blog is to support my crowdfunding campaign. Check it out here.
I am raising money for my return to the world. I assure you, it’s a life worth saving.

It seems it has been in the news a lot lately. An honest homeless person does some nice thing and then a campaign is created FOR them and a zillion dollars pours in. (Zillion is a number. Million, billion, trillion, ZILLION.)

If nothing else I know it can happen. If nothing else it is nice to know that people seem to realize the amount of money it could take, to truly get someone OUT of homelessness. Contributing enough money to get them ahead. Enough to establish a foundation. A foundation that can hopefully keep them out of homelessness.

It is encouraging to see that people who have never been in a destitute situation realize that.

Yes, a ZILLION dollars would be of GREAT use to me. Maybe I can raise that kind of money, maybe not. It doesn’t matter. — I have faith. I have faith in humanity. I have faith that the world is a wonderful place and is FULL of kind and generous people. I have faith that after many years of struggling I will return to the world. I will get back to normalcy. And I will pay if forward, because I have been there, and I know what it is like.

I don’t want to be famous. I don’t want to be in the news. I just want to be back in the world. A chance to have my life back. I had a regular life before. This is my quest to return there. And I could use your help.
If you can contribute you get a gift (see the campaign).
If you can’t contribute, sharing the link would help & I would be grateful.
Follow the blog and the campaign to learn more about me, or if you just want to know how it’s going.
Comment on either just to say ‘Hi’.   Dogs

Thanks and Blessings.
and the dogs.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥